Families talk every day. They talk about how the week has been, how the weather looks and what needs doing around the house. These conversations are comforting and familiar, but they sometimes leave something important unsaid. Many of us forget to ask the deeper questions, the ones that bring out stories, memories and the wisdom that only comes with time.
At Avanti Homecare, we spend our days caring for older adults across Derbyshire. Even a short conversation can reveal remarkable things about a person’s life, character, and experiences. When families come to us for support, they often tell us they wish they had asked more questions earlier. Our assessment process explores many of these topics because understanding who someone is helps us shape care that feels personal and respectful.
This article is a gentle reminder to explore the stories and preferences that sit quietly behind everyday conversations, and a look at how we help families uncover them too.
The stories behind early life
Older relatives often carry memories from childhood that no one else in the family knows. These stories offer context, warmth, and connection. In our assessments, we ask about early memories because they help us understand what brings comfort. A favourite childhood game, a person who made them laugh or a special place from the past can reveal more than people expect.
You might try asking:
• What do you remember most clearly from childhood?
• Who brought you the most joy when you were young?
• What did a normal weekday look like for you?
These conversations help families build a more complete picture, and they help us shape care with sensitivity.
The lessons learned along the way
A lifetime brings turning points, surprises and lessons that shape how someone sees the world. Families are often amazed when these stories come up during our initial visits. Understanding what helped someone through difficult times, or what choices mattered most to them, gives enormous insight into their values and priorities.
You could ask:
• What is one thing you wish you had known earlier in life?
• What helped you get through challenging moments?
• What advice would you give to someone in their twenties or thirties?
In our assessments, we explore these themes gently because they help us understand how to offer support that feels reassuring rather than intrusive.
The memories that bring joy
Memory and joy are closely linked. Older adults often have experiences that light them up when they talk about them. During our assessments, we ask about what brings happiness so we can build those moments into their weekly routines.
Try asking:
• What is one of the happiest moments in your life?
• What is your favourite holiday memory?
• What always made you smile when you were younger?
These questions bring warmth to family conversations and help us understand what truly matters to the person at the heart of the care plan.
The people who shaped their journey
Older adults remember friendships, work relationships, and family figures who had a lasting influence on their life. We explore these during assessments because the people who shaped someone’s journey often explain their personality, humour, and values.
You could explore:
• Who were the most important people in your life?
• Who inspired you?
• Is there someone you still think about often?
These memories help families reconnect and help us understand how best to support emotional wellbeing.
The hopes and preferences for the future
Talking about the future does not need to feel heavy. For many older adults, it is reassuring. During assessments, we ask about routines, comfort, environment and the small preferences that make home feel right. Whether it is the way someone likes their tea, the chair they prefer or the time they enjoy a quiet moment, these details matter.
Try asking:
• What helps you feel most comfortable at home?
• What routines mean the most to you?
• Is there something you would still like to do or see?
These questions help families understand needs more clearly, and they guide us in shaping care that respects identity and independence.
Why meaningful conversations matter
Many families assume they already know their relative’s stories, but often there is far more beneath the surface. A single question can turn a quiet afternoon into a moment of genuine connection. During our assessment process, we take the time to explore these conversations with families. It helps us build care that feels human, personal and centred around who someone truly is.
At Avanti Homecare, we see every day how much joy older adults take in sharing their experiences. A story told, a lesson passed on or a memory revisited can make someone feel valued and heard. Understanding these details helps us deliver care that is not just supportive but also meaningful.
If you would like help creating care that reflects your loved one’s life and personality, our friendly care team is always here to listen.
A huge thank you from all the team at
